Walking into the office on Monday was surreal. My whole life had changed overnight. I must have gone to the restroom ten times that day just to stare at myself in the mirror and giggle at the hint of a tummy I was positive I could see. I had this little person inside me with a little heartbeat – but work marched on. Business as usual.
I wanted to confide in everyone I saw that day, but Chase and I had agreed that we weren’t going to tell anyone until we told our parents. And, of course, we had to tell our parents in person, and the only way we could surprise them was to wait until we saw them at church next Sunday.
Business as usual wasn’t exactly what I wanted, though. I knew I was being ridiculous, but somehow I wanted people to know. How could they not instantly sense the aura of new life surrounding me? Of course they didn’t. And there were documents to file, and letters to write, and photocopies to make, and meetings to schedule. By the end of the day, my baby was beginning to fade from reality.
Thank God for Chase. As I saw my husband walking toward me after work, my baby sprang to life again, demanding my attention. A huge smile broke out across my face while he was still nearly a block away, and I could see his answering grin. We both felt silly, so we embraced our embarrassment by breaking into dramatic skipping, hugging and laughing when we met, our breath puffing around us in frosty white clouds.
Finally, we could talk about the only thing that had been on our minds all day. We laughed at the ironies of life. We had filled our new wine rack with six lovely bottles of wine the day before we discovered baby’s existence. Chase had accepted a three-year position as an elder at our church the same day, making me promise that I would not allow him to take on any additional responsibilities. And, of course, there was the very frightening irony that Chase’s job at the legislature ended in six months – just two months before the baby’s September due date.
“How is baby doing?” asked Chase, rubbing my tummy.
“Baby’s just fine,” I smiled, placing my hands over his. “Baby missed daddy, though.”
“I missed baby, too. You’re not going to have a miscarriage, are you?”
“I hope not,” I said, a little confused. “I guess that happens, though.”
“But I’m so attached to baby already,” said Chase, looking at me pleadingly. “I can’t explain it, but I love baby so much more than I ever thought was possible.”
“I know,” I said, squeezing his hand. “Me too. Hey, can we walk down to the mall and buy a pregnancy book? And maybe some prenatal vitamins? I really have no idea what I’m doing.”
I didn’t. My mom had Mary Kate when I was twelve, but apparently I didn’t pay enough attention during the pregnancy part. I bought What to Expect When You’re Expecting and What to Eat When You’re Expecting, and Chase and I read, or at least skimmed, both of them the same night.
One of the first things I learned was that caffeine was suspected to cause a higher risk of miscarriage, so caffeine was out. Normally, I would drink at least five cups of coffee at work and then come home and have a couple cups of tea. This was going to be fun.
Sushi was also on the taboo list, which was unfortunate since Chase and I ate sushi at least every other day. Deli meats and excessive amounts of mercury-containing fish were off the menu, although I should try to have salmon a couple times per week for the omega-3 fatty acids. Exercise was important, but I should avoid certain kinds of exercises. No ginseng, Echinacea or other under-tested herbs. I should have started taking a folic acid supplement years ago. My head was spinning with everything I should and shouldn’t do by the time I went to bed that night, but I was determined to do everything possible for my baby to grow healthy and strong.
The first day without caffeine was the worst. I came home with a pounding headache that pulsed through every inch of my body. And, of course, aspirin wasn’t allowed. Chase took wonderful care of me, though. He had me sit down in a warm shower in the dark, which helped my headache tremendously. Then he tucked me into bed and went to make dinner for us.
Five minutes later, he tiptoed into the room and whispered, “Hey, Bridge, how do you make rice?” Then three minutes after that, “What should I do with the chicken?” Then, “Um, the rice is boiling over, what should I do?” I didn’t get much sleep, but dinner was delicious.
That week, for the first time since we had been married, Chase allowed me to buy expensive healthy food when we went grocery shopping. I got whole wheat pasta, whole wheat twelve-grain bread, vegetable soup, lean chicken breast, fruit popsicles, organic seven grain cereal, and lots and lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. I was beginning to enjoy pregnancy.
The end of the week drew near, and Chase and I had to decide how we were going to tell our parents on Sunday. We decided that my parents would be easiest, so we would tell them first. We called to make sure they would all be around after church. Our baby had been our fun little secret for a week, but the pregnancy was about to become so much more real.
I wanted to confide in everyone I saw that day, but Chase and I had agreed that we weren’t going to tell anyone until we told our parents. And, of course, we had to tell our parents in person, and the only way we could surprise them was to wait until we saw them at church next Sunday.
Business as usual wasn’t exactly what I wanted, though. I knew I was being ridiculous, but somehow I wanted people to know. How could they not instantly sense the aura of new life surrounding me? Of course they didn’t. And there were documents to file, and letters to write, and photocopies to make, and meetings to schedule. By the end of the day, my baby was beginning to fade from reality.
Thank God for Chase. As I saw my husband walking toward me after work, my baby sprang to life again, demanding my attention. A huge smile broke out across my face while he was still nearly a block away, and I could see his answering grin. We both felt silly, so we embraced our embarrassment by breaking into dramatic skipping, hugging and laughing when we met, our breath puffing around us in frosty white clouds.
Finally, we could talk about the only thing that had been on our minds all day. We laughed at the ironies of life. We had filled our new wine rack with six lovely bottles of wine the day before we discovered baby’s existence. Chase had accepted a three-year position as an elder at our church the same day, making me promise that I would not allow him to take on any additional responsibilities. And, of course, there was the very frightening irony that Chase’s job at the legislature ended in six months – just two months before the baby’s September due date.
“How is baby doing?” asked Chase, rubbing my tummy.
“Baby’s just fine,” I smiled, placing my hands over his. “Baby missed daddy, though.”
“I missed baby, too. You’re not going to have a miscarriage, are you?”
“I hope not,” I said, a little confused. “I guess that happens, though.”
“But I’m so attached to baby already,” said Chase, looking at me pleadingly. “I can’t explain it, but I love baby so much more than I ever thought was possible.”
“I know,” I said, squeezing his hand. “Me too. Hey, can we walk down to the mall and buy a pregnancy book? And maybe some prenatal vitamins? I really have no idea what I’m doing.”
I didn’t. My mom had Mary Kate when I was twelve, but apparently I didn’t pay enough attention during the pregnancy part. I bought What to Expect When You’re Expecting and What to Eat When You’re Expecting, and Chase and I read, or at least skimmed, both of them the same night.
One of the first things I learned was that caffeine was suspected to cause a higher risk of miscarriage, so caffeine was out. Normally, I would drink at least five cups of coffee at work and then come home and have a couple cups of tea. This was going to be fun.
Sushi was also on the taboo list, which was unfortunate since Chase and I ate sushi at least every other day. Deli meats and excessive amounts of mercury-containing fish were off the menu, although I should try to have salmon a couple times per week for the omega-3 fatty acids. Exercise was important, but I should avoid certain kinds of exercises. No ginseng, Echinacea or other under-tested herbs. I should have started taking a folic acid supplement years ago. My head was spinning with everything I should and shouldn’t do by the time I went to bed that night, but I was determined to do everything possible for my baby to grow healthy and strong.
The first day without caffeine was the worst. I came home with a pounding headache that pulsed through every inch of my body. And, of course, aspirin wasn’t allowed. Chase took wonderful care of me, though. He had me sit down in a warm shower in the dark, which helped my headache tremendously. Then he tucked me into bed and went to make dinner for us.
Five minutes later, he tiptoed into the room and whispered, “Hey, Bridge, how do you make rice?” Then three minutes after that, “What should I do with the chicken?” Then, “Um, the rice is boiling over, what should I do?” I didn’t get much sleep, but dinner was delicious.
That week, for the first time since we had been married, Chase allowed me to buy expensive healthy food when we went grocery shopping. I got whole wheat pasta, whole wheat twelve-grain bread, vegetable soup, lean chicken breast, fruit popsicles, organic seven grain cereal, and lots and lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. I was beginning to enjoy pregnancy.
The end of the week drew near, and Chase and I had to decide how we were going to tell our parents on Sunday. We decided that my parents would be easiest, so we would tell them first. We called to make sure they would all be around after church. Our baby had been our fun little secret for a week, but the pregnancy was about to become so much more real.
1 comment:
what happens next, what happens next? :)
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